PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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