you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
