She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
