You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
