what day is it and did you see me today?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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