just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
