you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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