i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
