Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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