what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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