Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
