that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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