Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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