And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Randomize