Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
