i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
