i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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