I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
