So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize