So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I lost the right to judge tonight
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
