Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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