My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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