Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
