omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
