Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
