Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
