I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
