Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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