Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
