I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
