you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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