Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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