I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
