omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
