Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
