I accidentally had phone sex last night
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize