There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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