Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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