meet me or not, i'm out of control
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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