Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
