if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
