Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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