508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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