Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
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