I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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