yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
