The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she looked like the before picture.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
