my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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