Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
