I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
