Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
