carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
