walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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