I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
