She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
