She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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