You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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