Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
