Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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