why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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