after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
