I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
