I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
