im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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